This song is going to stay in my head for a long time! I completely resonated with your tripod of perfectionism, people-pleasing and boundary creating/enforcing. I've learned that putting myself first isn't selfish it's self-FULL! For sure it has caused a bit of a stir in my family and with friends but those who truly love me have noticed my improved energy and vitality.
I do wish that this language had been available when I was younger as well but also for raising my children. At 26 years old, my son is teaching me the same way your daughter taught you. Instead of offering his help to someone or saying he's available for an event, I ask first. It may be that he wants to be alone or has his own plans. That respect of his and my boundaries has deepened our relationship and communication.
Janine, I love the expression "self-full." It's so true. And it's helpful for me to remember that my kids are always watching. When I don't hold boundaries, it's not just about me. It's about modeling the self-respect I wish for them both.
So very true! I think about how I'm releasing the stories I learned from my mother on how everything and everyone should come before me because it appeared that my mom was always able to do it all and still have a great hair day!
I have since learned and seen the toll it had on her. I'm re-authoring those stories of pleasing everyone at the expense of my self and agree--so want that for those I love.
This song is going to stay in my head for a long time! I completely resonated with your tripod of perfectionism, people-pleasing and boundary creating/enforcing. I've learned that putting myself first isn't selfish it's self-FULL! For sure it has caused a bit of a stir in my family and with friends but those who truly love me have noticed my improved energy and vitality.
I do wish that this language had been available when I was younger as well but also for raising my children. At 26 years old, my son is teaching me the same way your daughter taught you. Instead of offering his help to someone or saying he's available for an event, I ask first. It may be that he wants to be alone or has his own plans. That respect of his and my boundaries has deepened our relationship and communication.
I appreciate and love your insights!
Janine, I love the expression "self-full." It's so true. And it's helpful for me to remember that my kids are always watching. When I don't hold boundaries, it's not just about me. It's about modeling the self-respect I wish for them both.
So very true! I think about how I'm releasing the stories I learned from my mother on how everything and everyone should come before me because it appeared that my mom was always able to do it all and still have a great hair day!
I have since learned and seen the toll it had on her. I'm re-authoring those stories of pleasing everyone at the expense of my self and agree--so want that for those I love.