The Five-Minute Experiment

Is five minutes of practice a day superior to an all-or-nothing approach to goal setting? Researchers seem to think so. This month, my family is putting it to the test.

Here’s what’s possible after enough practice literally falling on your face.

Oh, it really had me steamed when ADHD coach, Kelly Banks’, recent newsletter, I regret to inform you that doing a tiny bit of a thing is infinitely more helpful than doing none of it, arrived in my inbox last week.

My all-or-nothing brain always resents being challenged on its binary beliefs, especially when it means I need to rethink how I’m approaching my goals. But, at the tender age of 43, I’ve become more and more willing to admit that my old ways are, indeed, flawed, and that if I am to set a strong example for my children (one of whom is an ADHD mini-me), I need to be open to accepting my own faulty logic, and even perhaps, trying things differently.

So, I posed an invitation to my family: If you could name any skill you’d like to improve at, what would it be? And would you be willing to designate 5 minutes a day to it?

For myself, I chose a low-hanging fruit — a skill I’ve been half-heartedly intent on mastering since I became a certified yoga teacher nearly 12 years ago: mastering the handstand.

Certainly, there are other, far more consequential skills I’d prefer to master (i.e. writing a great American novel), but the handstand is something I can approach without a great deal of psychological complexity. If I master it, cool! If I don’t, I’ll continue to live a happy, fulfilling life. Writing, on the other hand, is far more precious to my psyche.

At the heart of my question was an inquiry: Do 5 minutes a day really matter? Can they tip the scales on becoming an expert or not?

A 5-minute commitment runs counter to every challenge I’ve ever dealt myself. I’ve participated in NaNoRiMo for many years in a row. I threw myself a 90,000-word gauntlet just this previous summer. When I was much younger, I’d jump on the bandwagon of every ridiculous diet trend (anyone remember Atkins??). And every time, without fail, I’d fail to meet my mark. Rarely have I approached my goals with gentle tenacity. Instead, I sprint full-force up the mountain and collapse at the first mile-marker.

So, I’m curious. Can this tiger change her stripes? Can the accountability of my family members help me rewire these lifelong tendencies? Can this experiment help my son and me outwit our persistent ADHD landmines?

We just completed Week 1, so the jury is still out. But here’s what IS working so far:

• The task of choosing an individual goal. It was fun to watch everyone ponder the skill they want to improve. My daughter chose the piano, my son chose art, and my husband chose journaling his feelings.

• Built-in accountability. My brand of ADHD generally involves setting private goals, telling no one, and then spiraling into shame when they go unmet. So, anytime I announce them publicly and invite participation, I feel deeply vulnerable (even when they’re as silly as nailing a handstand). But doing this challenge with my family has alleviated my performance anxiety. I trust they’re not gonna throw me out of the house or disown me if I fail. I’m also pretty sure I’m not going to be able to resist my 9-year-old’s sweet pleas to join her in the basement for piano practice. The group element imbues this challenge with some welcome camaraderie.

• Limited time commitment. You know what’s doable? Five minutes of getting on my mat or behind a keyboard, or any of my real-world “classrooms.” You know what’s not? Five hours! As the saying goes, the more time we have, the more time we have to waste. This daily challenge is defined by a minimum of 5 minutes and a maximum of 15 — a gradual marathon; no sprinting allowed.

• Establishing habits. There is no widespread consensus on how long it takes to establish a habit, but some researchers say it’s anywhere between 21 to 66 days, and those who battle addiction might argue that the timeframe is indefinable; habits are the result of daily recommitments. With that in mind, my only goal is to practice consistently enough that I actually improve toward the goal (curious: how will one focused month stack up to 12 years of inconsistent practice?).

• Learning together. Often, at the end of our practice, we enjoy participating in an exchange of skills. Rosie will teach me the scales; I’ll teach her how to shift her weight from her toes to her palms. Proud of our slow progress, we now have something we can impart to others: expertise.

There are so many elements to parenting that we scarcely think of when we sign up for the gig. Teaching our kids how to approach goals wasn’t necessarily top of mind when I became a mom 15 years ago. But as my children get older, and I observe the way they observe me walk through the world, I see how important it is to cultivate metacognition around my own learning habits and continue to hone them.

Kids, like adults, aren’t born knowing how to set and achieve goals. They don’t become persistent overnight, and they need support normalizing the “messy middle” of learning (for the record, there is a very hilarious video of me crashing into my desk during handstand practice; I’m just not sure the internet is quite ready to handle it).

The fact is, we don’t achieve goals overnight, and we don’t achieve them at all without sustained practice.

Five minutes a day might not land me in the Yoga Hall of Fame, but it has taught me something valuable: I’m capable of showing up.