Lifelong Learning with Simone Gordon
What the Black Fairy Godmother has to teach us about direct giving, paying forward compassion, and lifting each other during times of crisis
In times of trouble, Fred Rogers famously advised, “Look for the helpers.”
Mr. Rogers’ words are a natural place to turn as I admit to feeling parched for optimism at the moment. When I wasn’t doomscrolling or listening to horror stories from dear friends in the government last week, I forced myself to joyfully “hold the line” by dancing alone to ‘NSYNC in my kitchen, replicating a martini recipe from Maydan (my favorite D.C. restaurant), and passing on the 6-second hug (an essential soothing practice for the nervous system) to our best neighbor friends.
As I wrote in my last post, it’s important not to discount small acts of joyful resistance - if not for our own sanity, then certainly for the young people in our lives who are studying our reactions to these discombobulating events.
But the greatest inspiration of the last week was my conversation with Simone Gordon, aka “The Black Fairy Godmother.” When Mr. Rogers spoke of the “helpers,” Simone is precisely who he had in mind.
I met Simone more than five years ago through our mutual friend Jennifer Pastiloff (another helper of Titan status). Since then, Simone’s non-profit, The Black Fairy Godmother Foundation, has helped hundreds of Black and Brown families navigate financial emergencies. From single mothers facing imminent evictions to families in need of diapers, formula, electricity, and other essential needs, Simone and her team of angels show up on social media to crowdfund for immediate and direct support.
As a single mother and caregiver to a son with nonverbal autism, Simone is intimately familiar with the stressors and crises facing marginalized communities today. She began this work following her own moment of crisis, and to say she’s paid it forward is a gross understatement. What Simone does is the very definition of "God’s hands.”
I love this woman’s heart, and I honestly can’t believe the world is lucky enough to have her modeling the very best version of humanity. You will be blown away by her story and (hopefully) inspired to join her mission.
Please meet Simone Gordon, the Black Fairy Godmother.
You’ve been on my wish list of people to talk to for a long time, but this month felt like the right time, especially given how hard it’s been for so many. Being in DC, there’s a palpable sense of helplessness right now. What you do—offering direct help—is truly life-changing for people. I’m so excited to learn more about your work as the Black Fairy Godmother and the lessons you’ve learned along the way.
I became the Black Fairy Godmother after losing my job in 2017. Like most people, when you lose your job, you turn to social services for help. I applied for food stamps and other resources, but the process was frustrating. They told me it could take up to 30 days to get assistance, and my son Jarvis was put on a waitlist for therapy and Medicaid, even though he needed care immediately.
I was overwhelmed. I turned to social media and asked, “Where can I get help?” People suggested different avenues, and one person recommended joining a Facebook group called Reparation Offerings, which helps marginalized mothers get back on their feet. I introduced myself, shared my situation, and mentioned that I needed emergency food and supplies for Jarvis. I also shared my dream of going back to school.
Four strangers stepped up to help me. One of them, Kimberly Rumberg, truly changed my life. She had a friend reach out to Children’s Specialized Hospital, advocating for Jarvis. Two days later, I got a call saying there was an opening for him—after a year of waiting! Another woman, Cathy, sent diapers and wipes every month because Medicaid-provided pull-ups weren’t sufficient.
Kimberly and her husband, Steve, went even further. They covered my tuition until I achieved my nursing degree. I couldn’t believe it. They didn’t know me, but they believed in me.
That generosity inspired me to pay it forward. I started fundraising and becoming a resource guide on social media. One day, Jennifer Pastiloff messaged me, saying she loved what I was doing and wanted to help. At the time, I was raising $1,000 to help a mother avoid eviction. With her amplification on Instagram, we reached the goal in an hour. That was the beginning of the Black Fairy Godmother movement.
The idea of paying it forward is so powerful and simple. It reminds people that there’s no need to feel helpless—there are so many ways to make a direct impact, like you’ve done. Was it hard to ask for help in the beginning?
Honestly, yes. It was tough. But I looked at Jarvis and knew I had to put my pride aside for his sake.
Raising a child with autism as a single mom must teach you so much. What have been your biggest lessons?
It’s been incredibly challenging. When you become pregnant, everyone celebrates, but once the baby is here and the father decides not to be involved, it’s a different story. I had to adapt quickly and stay determined to build a life for Jarvis.
Raising him alone, especially with his autism, means constant learning. He has a limited diet and specific needs that make everyday activities, like traveling or sports, difficult. I have to find ways to make him feel comfortable and supported while accepting that he’ll need care for the rest of his life.
It’s amazing that you still find time and energy to give back. How do you balance self-care with everything else?
Honestly, I don’t. That’s why I created the Adopt-a-Mom Initiative. It’s a way to help moms like me take even an hour for themselves. We send them small gifts like lotions, bath bombs, or hair products for Mother’s Day because they rarely get that kind of care.
Running a national foundation while being a caregiver and a student leaves little room for self-care, but it’s something I need to work on.
I completely understand. When I was caring for my disabled husband and young son, people would ask what I was doing for myself, and I’d think, “Are you kidding?” It’s not that simple. Sometimes people need to step in and say, “I’m giving you a break.”
Exactly. Caregiving is all-consuming, and many people don’t realize how much help is needed until they’re in that situation themselves.
What are your biggest concerns right now for the communities you serve?
I’m worried about how the loss of DEI initiatives will affect marginalized families. It’s also impacting partnerships we rely on for food donations. With rising food insecurity and job losses, we’re already seeing an uptick in homelessness. Evictions have been on the rise. We have people that are going to work every day, and they're sleeping in their cars. We have a single dad who even parks in a Walmart parking lot just to be safe because they have security there. He and his kids will wait until Walmart opens up, and they'll go to the bathroom and freshen up for the day. That's what we're dealing with.
For those who want to support your foundation, what’s the best way to get involved?
They can visit our website, www.theblackfairygodmother.org, and click “Ways to Give.” Donations, corporate matches, and volunteering are all helpful. We also need problem solvers who can navigate local resources before we turn to social media fundraising.
You’ve gained so much knowledge about navigating these systems. It’s incredible how much you’ve accomplished—for yourself and for others.
I’ve learned a ton along the way. Did you know that some major nonprofits—big names I can’t disclose—spend approximately 47% of their donations on marketing? People don’t realize that. They think their money is going directly to the cause, but often it’s not. That’s why we operate differently. We rely on volunteers and don’t have salaried staff. We’re still a grassroots organization. We haven’t reached the point of bringing in a million dollars a year yet, but that’s the goal. Hopefully, we can find a grant writer in the future to help us get there.
You’ve navigated this foundation through a pandemic, and now you’re guiding it through an uncertain time for the country. You’re carrying so much—the stories of the people who reach out to you, your own caregiving responsibilities. What brings you lightness? Where do you find joy or relief?
I take walks outside to breathe, unwind, and get some sunshine. I listen to music and make sure I have 20 to 30 minutes of quiet time each day before my son comes home. That time is so valuable. Some people don’t understand why I do this work for free. But here’s the thing: before my mentor Kimberly Rumberg passed away from brain cancer on January 9 of last year, she made me promise to continue this work, no matter how hard it gets. She was one of our volunteers and helped create the Angel Food Assistance Program.
She believed that everyone deserves nutritious meals, not just canned food from a pantry. She insisted we deliver medical supplies and fresh food and even suggested giving flowers or a plant to people in need. She said that feeling hungry and forgotten is one of the worst feelings in the world. So, Abby, that’s why I’m here today—tired and all—because I promised her. I owe everything to her.
What have you learned about yourself along the way that has surprised you?
I’ve learned that I can be a hard-ass. I’m a sweetheart at heart, but I’ve discovered I can also be tough. By “hard-ass,” I mean I love deeply—I love people—and I try to see the good in everyone. Some might think that’s naïve, but I believe everyone has done something good in their life, even if they’ve also done wrong. My grandmother used to say that even the most evil people have moments of kindness. That’s a huge lesson I carry with me.
What are you learning right now?
I’m learning not to be too hard on myself when I can’t meet every need—when I can’t feed a family or clothe someone. I’m learning that we’re here to love and support each other, but also that we need to take care of ourselves. If I don’t take time to love myself, replenish my energy, and sprinkle a little “fairy dust” on myself now and then, I won’t be any good to others.
You are such a treasure. Thank you for doing the work you do. It’s a wake-up call for all of us to recognize our own capacity to help. You began this work in a moment when it would have been easy to focus on yourself, but you chose to turn outward. That’s inspiring. I have no doubt your work will only become more vital in the months ahead. Thank you, Simone.
Thank you, Abby.
You can learn more about Simone and the work of The Black Fairy Godmother Foundation by visiting her website and Instagram.
And if you’re a grant writer looking for work, please consider reaching out Simone directly. Her foundation would be grateful for your services.
Wow. Simone is truly an extraordinary human being. Thank you for sharing her story, Abby. Great interview!
This is awesome. Simone’s story and cause are inspiring. I had no idea this cause existed. Thank you for sharing.