Be Where Your Feet Are

A Parisian interlude / Mini-travelogue / Lesson in mindfulness

You didn’t receive a newsletter from me last week. Maybe you noticed. Maybe you didn’t. (Honestly, either is okay!). But in any case, I reached for my computer last week, typed out a few words, then closed it shut. I was in Paris, and I felt unequivocally that my attention belonged there.

Last week my husband and I snuck away for a belated 15-year anniversary trip, courtesy of some smokin’ deals from IcelandAir and the mercy of of my in-laws, who stayed with our children. After a stressful two months, we knew we needed a reset. I just don’t think we realized how badly we needed it until our behinds had cleared TSA precheck and we were safely situated at our gate, ready to take off.

But the point of this week’s (much belated) Substack isn’t to share a lowdown of our 4-day itinerary (for the record, it would take infinity days to enjoy all that Paris has to offer). It’s to offer a quick reminder of a message I’ve been meditating on frequently: be where your feet are.

Given how often I’ve referenced it in the past month, I wish I’d coined this catchphrase. But credit goes to the therapist of my dear friend, who graciously repeated it in my direction. Be where your feet are, her therapist has taken to reminding her. Take a look around. You are OK in the Right Now. This is not an emergency. Attend to the present moment.

For those of us who have survived significant traumas, it’s a reminder worth tattooing somewhere prominent. After prolonged periods of emergency, our nervous systems are wired for adrenaline. We derive a weird satisfaction from knowing we can respond at the jump. Of course emergency was just around the corner, we roll our eyes. If only you’d asked us. We’re always expecting it.

Prepping for the bad stuff can give us an artificial sense of security, but it comes at a pretty steep cost to our nervous systems. And our faith. By constantly expecting things to go wrong, we adopt a paradigm that the universe is conspiring against us… not for us. Like we’re in battle at all times.

Basically the opposite of Matthew McConaughey’s Greenlights mentality.

But 4-days in Paris was greenlights all the way. Not because everything went perfectly (it didn’t), but because we began the trip by making the conscious choice to be where our feet are and appreciate the right now.

When it rained, we snuck into cafés and leisurely picked at pastries.

When we got lost, we stood still, and resisted shooting down the other person’s best ideas.

When we realized we’d booked a wine tour that departed from a location 2.5 hours from where we were staying, we shrugged our shoulders and improvised new plans instead.

We held hands. (Made trickier by the weakness caused by TBI).

We came home relaxed. And dare I say it, armed with faith.

After two months of buzzing anxiety over the election, where to send our oldest to high school, chronic health issues, home repairs, and the persistent question of what to do with the rest of our lives, we came to the decision that, for now, we’re making no decisions. We’re putting a little stock into the good ole universe and waiting to see what happens.

In other words, we’re staying where our feet are.